Why Dan Campbell should work at McDonalds

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I’ll get straight to the point. Dan Campbell has no business being a head coach in the NFL. Campbell is better suited for being a McDonald’s store manager, who is responsible for keeping staff and customers happy with his inspirational Ted Talks. I’m not joking either, since becoming the head coach of the Detroit Lions, Dan Campbell has recorded the most losses (19) in the NFL. Campbell is the only head coach actively in the NFL without a road win (at least 10 road games played).

Standards for Employment?

Dan Campbell made headline news when he cold called Sheila Ford Hamp and the Detroit Lions organization. He pitched them on how much he loved and wanted the job, along with how he believed he would be able to bring success to Detroit. Keep in mind, that’s the equivalent of an Average Joe calling Apple Corporate and snagging an executive level position with no prior experience.

Yes, Dan Campbell was the interim head coach of the Miami Dolphins all those years ago. However, he has never held a coordinating position in his career. In a league that is trending towards young, offensive & defensive minded coaches, the Lions brass decided there was no better candidate to recover from the “Quintricia Era” than Dan Campbell. The man who takes pride in the amount of caffeine he inhales every morning, who stresses the importance of biting off kneecaps, and finishes every sentence with the word “man”.

I’m all for giving people an opportunity, but I’m sorry. We’re talking about a billion-dollar organization, a role that only 32 individuals get to hold every season. A role that on average has a yearly firing rate of 4-6 coaches league-wide. Being the head coach of a professional football team takes more than motivational speeches, players liking you, fans liking you. It takes strategic planning, hyper-focus, a drive and hunger for success that only a select few will ever understand. Unfortunately, the Lions ended up hiring someone who would be better off working the line at McDonald’s than coaching their football team.

Does Winning Even Matter to Dan Campbell?

Since becoming the head coach of the Detroit Lions, Dan Campbell boasts a pathetic record of 4-19-1. To put that into context, David Culley was fired after his first season by the Houston Texans after going 4-13. Campbell started the 2021 season 0-7, and has followed it up with a 1-6 start for the 2022 season. Injuries, referees, talent, god…whatever the excuses are, this ownership and fan base continues to support a loof who continues to get exposed every Sunday. The Lions have now gone three consecutive weeks without scoring in the second-half (being outscored 46-0).

Quit the bullshit, and stop making excuses for mediocre results. If Dan Campbell was managing a McDonald’s that continued to serve incorrect orders and had a review rating under 2.0, he would be relieved of his duties. Apparently, as long as you’re the head coach of the Detroit Lions, mediocrity is acceptable.

Photo Credit© Junfu Han / USA TODAY NETWORK