TOP 5 DRUNK EATS

You have left the bar at 2 a.m. on a weekend night. You are drunk and hungry.

What is your next stop?

I asked our group of sports enthusiasts at the Woodward Sports Network to list their top five stops.

Let me make a confession. I changed the entire landscape with the voting because I hate Taco Bell, which held a small lead with our Woodward Sports Network gang over White Castle until I cast my vote.

Taco Bell did not make my top five. White Castle did. Therefore, the winner of this week’s poll is White Castle with Taco Bell coming in second in our top five spots in Metro Detroit to rid yourself of the munchies.

I sort of feel bad because there was a huge passion for Taco Bell until the mean old Minister of Words broke things up. I am willing to listen if folks from Taco Bell want to change my mind.

1. White Castle: My favorite White Castle story occurred while covering the Indianapolis 500 with Boston Globe sportswriter Mike Vega. My nickname for Vega was Las Vegas because I was convinced, he was bigger than the entire city of Las Vegas. We drove to the drive through and Vegas ordered 10 White Castles, two large fries, two Cokes and a chocolate milk shake. Then he turned to me and asked “What do you want?’ Silly me. I thought he was ordering for both of us. Now you see why I called him Las Vegas.
2. Taco Bell: Maybe I’m turned off by this place after hearing rumors there is cement in the burger meat. Maybe I just hate the smell of the place. I call it Taco Smell. I suppose people love the tacos. I’m just not interested in eating cement. Taco Bell claims there is no cement in its meat. Do you believe it?
3. Lafayette Coney Island: Have you guys forgotten the rats in the basement? That doesn’t stop me from knocking down two coneys with fries in the wee hours of the night. The show is the loud, obnoxious people who pile in when the bars close.
4. Frozen Pizza: This is probably the sensible thing to do. You go home, pop a frozen pizza in the oven and call it a night. Didn’t mom tell us nothing good happens in the streets after midnight. You survived getting your ass kicked in the bar. Why chance it.
5. National Coney Island: Have you been to the Royal Oak location? Folks are so drunk that their sandwiches and fries are hanging from their mouths and noses. The odd thing is there are plenty of fights, but nobody can fight. The best fight I ever saw in there were between two chicks. And I wasn’t fucking with the winner.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Terry Foster is the self proclaimed Minister of Words with Woodward Sports and fills in on shows when folks need time off. He worked at the Detroit News and Free Press for 37 years and co-hosted the Valenti and Foster Show for 13 years at the Detroit Lions flagship.